Incertum Futurum

I’ll never forget what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, there was the most beautiful breeze. The sky was blue and the grass was green. No one ever expected the 180 that day took.

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Kaleidoscope Dreams

The warm sunlight trickled through the leaves and gently danced on my skin. I flittered my eyelids open, and was greeted by a thick, shaded, cool forest. There was a foggy haze that gave it a beautiful ethereal glow and a playful air of mystery. I stood up from my involuntary resting spot and dusted myself off. I had fallen somehow, although I had no memory of the occurence.

I took a few steps forward, the grass was lush and green; the forest was damp, and just ahead of me was a decaying tree stump with the most beautiful lilac colored mushrooms growing all over it. There were so many different types, it looked like a little amethyst colored saprophyte galaxy, and just added to the allure of this enchanted place.

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Life and Musings

My brain has been all over the place because of work and personal things, so I seem to have fallen back on the one thing that’s always been a fairly consistent. Being creative, or just creating things in general. Trying to be artistic when you’re stressed out is so difficult – or at least for me – because there is this literal block that prevents me from doing what I feel I need to do. I feel like I can’t see past it.

So what have I been doing instead?

I’ve been writing. Or composing some stuff. Shorts, dribbles, poetry, whatever you’d like to call it. Some isn’t even finished, because I start with the general idea and need to flesh around it. I do need to clean some of it up, because it’s just been written and done, nothing else. Obviously some editing and tweaking will make it more refined and polished, but maybe at some point I’ll decide to release a raw version.

I do say I’m going to do a lot of things, but a lot of my goals are clouded by laziness and life. Oops.

Tonight’s weirdness brought to you by Bulleit.

Treasure Journal

My newest obsession is treasure journals. They’re so relaxing to make, and I love that there is really no structure to it.

I’m making this one as a gift for someone incredibly special to me – this is just a sneak peek until she receives it.

I’ve been following Shanouki Art on YouTube, and I’ve learned so, so much from her. She is honestly amazing, and I’ve even fallen asleep to her videos. I’ve watched some multiple times because she is just so soothing, and watching her work is so hypnotic. I don’t know if I can create something as beautiful as hers, but I can hope.

I love that my love for art and creating it has come back. It was always so fleeting, and at the tips of my fingers, but now? I feel like my heart is finally full.

Life Update

Some things have changed in my life, and initially while negative, they changed for the positive.

I’ve started doing art again, and loving it. I’m currently working on a junk journal, which I’ll be sharing soon.

I’ve also got a short(?) novel in the works. I’ve been saying I’m going to write a book, and it’s about time I got down to it.

Stay tuned if you’re interested in seeing what I finally decide to do.

Unintended Hiatus

I’m not really sure what happened since the last time I wrote. I had been all charged up and ready to write more, but instead I regressed and just lost all interest and desire.

I’m not sure if it was the heat, just things going on in general, or a combination of both, but I kind of lost an interest in a lot of things.

Possibly until recently; an idea for another story came to me, I have a few physical art projects I’d like to do, but not sure about where I’m going to find all the time for it. I hope I don’t overwhelm myself, because I really am enamored at the idea of being able to be creative and just … create for once. I have all these ideas, but the issue I’ve been struggling with is bringing them to existence.

I’m open to ideas of how to keep myself accountable. I do need to find a way.

Ghosts of my Father’s Past

Looking at me you’d never know the stigma of my parentage; I look like your average woman who gets up at 6:00 am every day. I work out, I eat a healthy breakfast, then I shower and go to work. I’m usually on time, granted the subway doesn’t have any issues. 

I didn’t always grow up in New York City. We moved here when I was 12; my dad was a cop in a small town, but he was bored with small town life. He wanted action, like in the movies. So we moved to New York City. Well, just outside the city where we could afford it. Dad transferred and he was ecstatic. Mom was happy for him, and she quickly found a teaching job. My parents flourished, I didn’t. I didn’t make any friends, I kept to myself. Some time after that, I wound up being alone a lot more than anything if my parents were busy – especially if dad was busy. If he wasn’t, he spent all his free time with me until I went to high school.

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